"Honor your father and mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your god is giving you." Exodus 20:12
My favorite color when it came to leadership and management in my job as an education administrator was gray. I liked that blur between lines that gave me room to work with staff to come to a decision. What drove me crazy was going to a meeting at central office only to have another principal in the room ask, "Can you tell us how you want us to....?" after doing months of research and creating a broad consensus on an approach to an issue. In my opinion, if you ask a governing group, you will get an answer and chances are you won't like it nearly as much as if given a chance to solve it yourself.
Then I became a dad, and I learned that kids don't respond much to consensus building, months of research, and a common vision for what is best for the family. I learned that they are there to test every facet of every issue or rule established within the household. They didn't seem to respond to the wisdom developed from mine and my wife's 60+ (total at that time) years of experience in life. I'm probably not alone.
Mark Twain is said to have said, "When I was 14, my dad knew nothing. When I turned 21, I was astonished how much he learned in those seven years."
Even God's command creates a gray area when He says to "honor." Honor is a "know it when you see it" verb. Other words come to mind and I believe we all know it when we see it, but our kids will certainly have questions, much like we did when we were their age. The sting comes at the end of the commandment when it says "our days will be long." So, if I dishonor mom and dad does that mean....?
Yet today, we "honor" the first half of the pairing: Dad. Yet we know that Mom comes first in the calendar with Mothers Day the month before, and you can certainly miss one and not be held nearly as accountable as the other, but Father's Day is one in which we pause to observe the true spiritual importance of Fathers (Dads).
Scripture places the onus of spiritual development on dads, just a plain old truth right there. Just a look at "Father" in an indexed concordance bible or to google "fathers in scripture passages" yields passages like this: "Hear O sons, a father's instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight, for I give you good precepts, do not forsake my teaching." Proverbs 4:1 - 2
We love our moms, but dads are meant to be the foundation of faith in the home. I look back and see my own attempts at such and wish I had been better, but I know I'm not alone. So today, we take pause to honor the Dad in each house (and those who've assumed the role as step-dads as well, or mentors to young men without fathers). Fathers shape children in so many ways that another plain old truth is the absence of a father is difficult to overcome (not impossible, but an added difficulty).
Dads, young and old, thank you for all that you do. We pray that God give you an added measure of grace and mercy for all the gray areas children can present us with (Twain didn't have to deal with cars, the cell phone, the internet and other things that have made parenting a 24/7 job). We pray that God provide you with wisdom in your efforts. We also pray that we realize that we are not in this alone, and that there are an abundance of mentors available to talk about issues we may face as parents in our midst.
Have a great Father's Day!
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